Thank You For
ADVISORY ARTICLE
By Alina Aliieva
Ontario, Canada
Introduction
Over my past 15 years coaching several hundred leaders and enterprises across Eastern Europe and North America, one challenge has been universal — cutting across levels, industries, company sizes, personality types, and cultures. We are still remarkably bad at giving feedback.
And after a year-end review— when most people will be either giving or receiving it — the cracks become even more visible.
Some avoid the process altogether, postponing difficult conversations until the very end of December and then reading scripted paragraphs from a form, eyes down, voice flat, trying to get through it. Others cling to the sandwich technique, distracting themselves with hollow praise before dropping a grenade of criticism… or, in the opposite direction, wrapping the development point so gently that the person walks out convinced they’re due for a promotion.
There’s also a quieter, more common trap: managers who start with positive comments to “set a good tone,” only to realize halfway through that they have unintentionally painted themselves into a corner. The praise escalates, the window for the real message closes, and they are forced to schedule a second meeting just to address the actual issue — the one that required clarity from the beginning.
And here is the deeper problem: when an employee does something wrong, many leaders instinctively label the conversation as negative feedback. They brace for conflict instead of framing it for what it is — constructive improvement. The goal isn’t to point out flaws; it’s to create the conditions for better decisions, better habits, and better outcomes.
But as long as leaders see improvement as criticism, they will communicate defensively — and employees will hear defensively. That’s the loop we need to break.
Feedback techniques you already know
So, the real questions here are: How on earth do you get someone to change or grow? And how can you do that in ways that strengthen your connection instead of breaking it?
The first answer is deceptively simple: do it more often than once or twice a year.
Nobody spirals emotionally when feedback becomes routine. It’s the same principle as a GPS — constant course correction feels normal, expected, and oddly comforting. You don’t accuse your GPS of being “negative” when it tells you to turn left. You wouldn’t trust it if it stayed silent.
Before we move on to GPS and proposing anything new, it’s worth being honest about why the tools we already teach don’t fully solve the problem
Nonviolent Communication (NVC):
Nonviolent Communication (NVC), developed by Marshall Rosenberg, is a structured approach to navigating difficult conversations by shifting attention away from blame and toward understanding. Rather than debating who is right or wrong, the framework focuses on clarifying what is happening, how it affects the people involved, and what would help move the situation forward.
At its core, NVC is built around four elements, often referred to as OFNR.
More…
To read entire article, click here
How to cite this work: Aliieva, A. Give Feedback That People Will Thank You For, PM World Journal, Vol. XV, Issue I, January. Available online at https://pmworldjournal.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/pmwj160-Jan2026-Aliieva-Feedback-People-Thank-you-For.pdf
About the Author
Aina Aliieva (Alive)
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Aina Aliieva (Alive) is an experienced Agile Coach and a Business Consultant with 20 years of experience in different industries, from hospitality and tourism to banking and engineering, a Founder & CEO at Bee Agile – a boutique company with a mission of bridging Humans & Machines.
She is a keynote speaker on Agile, Project Management, Cybersecurity, Negotiation, People Management, and Soft Skills topics. She was a guest instructor at NASA in 2022 & 2023 with topics on Conflict Resolution & Negotiation and Facilitation Techniques.
Her book, “It Starts with YOU. 40 Letters to My Younger Self on How to Get Going in Your Career,” hit the #1 position in the #jobhunting category on Amazon and is featured in a Forbes Councils Executive Library.
She also contributed to the books “Mastering Solution Delivery: Practical Insights and Lessons from Thought Leaders in a Post-Pandemic Era”, “Green PMO: Sustainability through Project Management Lens”, “Agile Coaching and Transformation: The Journey to Enterprise Agility”. She is a lead author of an amazon bestseller “Evolution of the PMO: Rise of the Chief Project Officer”
Aina was also a Finalist in the Immigrant Entrepreneur of the Year category in 2021 by the Canadian SME National Business Award
She can be contacted at https://www.linkedin.com/in/aina-aliieva/
